We often feel like we have to be available 24/7 and respond instantly to messages and calls. We give the wrong people unfettered access to us daily. But as Sam found out, this can mean missing out on precious moments with loved ones and ourselves.
It was only 8 AM when Sam’s phone rang. She answered almost immediately, quickly immersing herself in the conversation. It must be important, I thought, to interrupt our carpool discussion. I listened and waited for the important thing to come up, but it never did.
When she finally hung up and returned her attention to me, neither of us remembered what we had been talking about.
This was a recurring theme in her life. Sam’s phone would ring and she would answer. While packing a box for shipment, she picked up the phone and missed the overnight shipping deadline. During lunch with her team, laughing and enjoying the sunny, warm day, she answered again, cutting short a precious bonding moment.
She was on another call when an old friend walked in to say hello. He waited and waited but couldn't wait any longer. He was comedian-level funny, and she missed all the laughs they could have shared.
The price for being constantly and instantly available was taking a toll.
On our drive home from work, I could see she was stressed.
“I didn’t have time to get it all done today,” she declared. “But you did,” I countered. The look on her face told me she had no idea what I was getting at.
HIT THE SPACEBAR - Sam needed to create space.
“How many calls were you on today?” I asked. “I don’t know, four maybe five,” she replied. “Let’s check,” I said. There were fourteen. “There’s no way that number is right,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief
I continued probing. “How many of those calls were important enough to answer right away? How many could have gone to voicemail? Why did Ron call you four times today?” I could see she was contemplating the answers.
“You probably spent at least three hours on the phone today.” In a daze, she started nodding, acknowledging the truth. “You realize this is what my day typically looks like,” she said.
“I know,” I responded, “I spend all day with you, remember? You’re letting other people selfishly hijack your day over and over again. Each time you answer, you let them design your day. It’s too much time on the phone, Sam. You need to think of the calls as intruders—unwanted, there to mess with your time.”
Just then, another call came in, and like a Jedi master, the phone was in her hand before I even noticed. This time, however, she paused for a second and sent the call to voicemail. “We’re having an important conversation,” she smiled, “and I don’t want to be interrupted.”
Space Making Challenge:
Actively choose how to spend your time. Be present with the people in front of you. Stay in flow when you’re working on something.
Ready to slow down and create clarity? Let's walk.
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