We often think that more is always better. We should hustle harder, work longer, and never settle. The more overwhelmed we get the more we try to do. Spoiler alert: taking on more is never the answer. It’s counter intuitive, but just like in Farah’s story, the answer to more…was actually less.
We met at the coffee shop across from the park. The stress was evident in her rigid walk and forced smile. After hugging hello, we grabbed drinks and headed towards the park.
“So, what’s going on?” I asked. She started talking but it felt like she was struggling to breathe. There was so much to say that she didn't want to pause to take in the air she needed to give me the story in chapters. Her tension and urgency were palpable. Quietly, I held space for Farah to purge her story.
As we walked, she shared her stress. There was a big salary, big expenses, and a budding relationship with a man who finally saw her. She wanted to be a good mom to her kids. She craved more—more achievement, more productivity, more rewards. "More" was both her objective and her solution.
Yet, the numbers in her life didn't add up. She took on more work to make those ends meet. She had maxed out on "more," but it never seemed enough. Like an elastic band stretched to its limit, she was ready to snap. "More" had given her less—less time for herself, her kids, and her relationship.
HIT THE SPACEBAR - Farah needed to create space.
“What’s the most important thing to you right now?” I asked. Without hesitation, she replied, “Being a good mom to my kids.”
More side gigs meant less time and focus on her children, rendering her less present. This was against her desire and core value to focus on her kids. Spending more time working was not the solution.
“Can you earn more at your job?” I inquired. She confessed she was underpaid—by thirty percent, to be exact.
We did the math. Adding the job that pays the market salary and subtracting the consulting gigs equaled more of what she really truly valued: time with her kids.
The solution may seem simple to those on the outside but when you are emotionally tied to an issue, the overwhelm steals your vision and keeps you in survival mode.
This new math worked and having a tangible solution instantly eased some of Farah’s stress.
“I thought you’d tell me to manifest it and ask the universe for more money,” she said. I laughed. “Manifest it by picking up the phone and talking to a recruiter,” I winked as we parted ways.
Space Making Reflection
Don’t be afraid to take the space you deserve.
Ready to slow down and create clarity? Let's walk.
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